How to recognize family violence
If you’re in immediate danger or need urgent medical support, call 9-1-1.
It can be difficult to recognize abuse in your own family or relationship for many reasons. You may:
- love your partner or family member
- not be able to see the violence or any injuries
- think that the behaviour isn’t that serious or will improve
Family violence is when someone in a family or close relationship uses behaviour that’s violent, threatening, neglectful or controlling, making another person feel unsafe or afraid.
There are many forms of family violence. The abuse can be physical, sexual, psychological, emotional or economic. Neglect can also be a form of abuse.
Family violence includes:
- using physical force, for example:
- throwing objects
- locking someone in a room or tying them down
- hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, pushing, burning, stabbing or cutting someone
- forcing someone to engage in sexual acts
- using jealousy or possessiveness to control someone
- calling someone names, insulting or putting them down constantly
- harming or threatening to harm oneself, another person, children or pets
- exposing children to violence, including seeing abuse, hearing conflict, noticing injuries or experiencing the aftermath (like broken belongings)
Family violence can also include controlling behaviours, like the following:
- tracking where someone goes, who they talk to or what they do online
- stopping someone from seeing or communicating with friends or family
- controlling someone’s access to money and what they spend or preventing them from working
- withholding basic needs like food, warm clothing, shelter, medical care, supervision, hygiene or emotional support
- threatening to tell friends, family, colleagues or community members about the person’s sexual orientation or gender identity without their consent
There are warning signs that someone may be experiencing family violence. For example, the person may:
- try to cover up their injuries
- feel sad, angry, anxious, withdrawn, on edge, easily startled or afraid
- have trouble sleeping or concentrating
- lack stable employment
- use alcohol or drugs to cope
- miss or have trouble at school or work
- make excuses for a family member’s behaviour
- feel nervous when a certain family member is around
For children, inappropriate sexualized behaviour may be a warning sign that they are experiencing family violence.
If you believe that someone you know is experiencing abuse, consider talking to someone you trust. You can reach out to:
- a trusted friend or family member, who may be able to help you think through next steps
- a confidential helpline, where you can talk through your concerns and get advice
- a local sexual assault centre, shelter or family violence services, whose staff can guide you
- a health or social service professional, such as a doctor, nurse, social worker or counsellor, who may be a good starting point for disclosing abuse
The key is to reach out to someone who can provide safe, informed support. You don’t need to have all the answers. Simply voicing your concern to a trusted professional or service can be the first step toward ensuring safety.
If you suspect child abuse or neglect, contact your local child protective services. They will assess the situation. If you suspect a child is in immediate danger, call 9-1-1 or your local police.
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